alex_hormozi tips for 20, 30s

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Fetching transcript for: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ub1D6RQocRU
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Give me the next 30 minutes and I'll
help you make the most of your 20s and
your 30s. So, I made my first million
when I was 26. A decade later, my
portfolio companies generated last year
over $250 million in aggregate revenue.
And I'm 36 now. And so, in this video,
I'm going to give you the real world
advice that I wish someone had told me
much earlier. So, number one is you want
to take asymmetric bets. If you're under
30, you have no reason not to go 100%
allin on your goals. The downside is
nothing and the upside is everything. If
you think about life as giving you kind
of lottery tickets, right? You can
scratch off a ticket and if you don't
win, then what did you lose? The
scratchoff ticket. But the thing is is
that when you have nothing to lose, you
have nothing to lose and you only have
things to gain. And so the objective
when you have as little as you can is to
take as many shots as possible because
your downside is zero, right? And so
it's the only time in your career where
you can take more shots than anyone
else. And so the reason or the fact that
people don't take shots and myself
included when I was younger, I was so
afraid to take a shot. But the only
reason that was holding me back was the
belief that other people who I don't
even talk to anymore would somehow judge
me as a quote failure. You never
actually start from scratch ever again
because every time after the first time
you start from scratch, you start with
an experience. So you still always net a
positive. And so that's the beautiful
thing about taking shots is that you
either get the big win or more likely
you learn something and then that
learning compounds. And so the thing is
is that I had a misunderstanding of how
success worked which is that it's far
more stacking many things on top of each
other than it is nothing nothing and
then something works. Right? And so if
you imagine success like a bridge,
right? So you're over here and you've
got this chasm that you have to get
across. Right? This is, you know, let's
say there's alligators here and lava and
all sorts of stuff, right? And then
there's you over here who's got, you
know, your big smiley face and you're
happy and you're doing all the stuff you
want. The thing is is that I thought
that I just kept wanting to jump over
this gap over and over again and think
like if I just jumped hard enough or if
I had the right opportunity, that's what
would do it. But more likely than not,
it's really like you install these these
bricks on the path and you keep you keep
walking and it's like, okay, well, I
fall here. Okay, well, I'll fix this one
later. And then you take a and then you
you start again and then you fall here
and then you fix this and you keep going
and you fall here and then you fix this
and then all of a sudden you make it all
the way across. And that's what it looks
like or what the experience of kind of
becoming the overnight success is and
that's why so many people talk about it
where uh it doesn't happen at all and
then it happens all at once. It's not
that it happens all at once. The actual
outcome of getting a system to work all
the way through that is binary, but the
process of building the system is
actually very linear. I'm also not
saying this from a position of um like
even though I I you know I saw some
success early in my career, I also
started pretty early. And so I had nine
failed businesses, nine before I had one
that really worked. And so I bring this
up to say that like I don't know what
failure you're on right now. Maybe
you're on zero failures, you're on one
failure or two failures, but you have
way more failures in you at the end of
the day. Like one of the big
realizations I had is that since life is
an infinite game and what that means is
that there are there are games where you
have a defined time period and at the
end you count the score, right? And then
there's infinite games where the only
point of the game is to keep playing the
game. And so like the point of marriage
is not to get married, it's to stay
married. The point of health is not to
get healthy, it's to stay healthy. And
the point of business is not to get into
business, but to stay in business. And
so basically the only thing that you
have to do to stay in business is to
choose to continue to fight. And so once
you realize that, then you realize that
you become a success the moment you
decide you are. Because being successful
is far more about being in the game,
about being in the arena. And so when
you're in your 20s, what you lack in
experience, you have to make up for in
effort and hours. And believing
otherwise leads to a life of honestly
well-deserved mediocrity. So if you're
hearing this, you're like, "Okay, I got
it. I need to take more bets and I need
to take maybe riskier bets because my
downside is nothing. All right. Well,
which bets do I take? So number two,
don't follow your passion. So passion is
vague and so it's very difficult to say
I like this thing more than this thing.
But what you can say is I'm better at
this than that. And so passion usually
then comes from competence, not creates
competence. And so we usually like
things that we get good at rather than
getting good at things that we like,
right? And so this is the thing like
that I think confuses a lot of people.
And so the other flip side of this is
that enjoying something doesn't even
guarantee that you're good at it or that
you're going to be able to make money
from it. And I remember my dad used to
tell me when I was much younger, he
said, "Listen, if I were following my
passion, I'd be a bartender at a ski
slope, right?" He said, "If you can just
make money," he said, "The rest of your
life, you can do whatever you want." And
I actually think it was very practical
advice for me. And I'm very grateful
that I got that. But the thing is is
that getting good at anything, you have
to slog through this period where you're
probably not going to be passionate
about it because it's very boring. It's
very monotonous. It's very repetitive.
Right? It's it's one thing to say, "Oh,
I like ping pong." It's another thing to
say like I hit 500 forehands and 500
backhands every morning and every night,
right? It's a different level of
dedication that you have to have to it.
And that isn't going to be something
you're passionate about. You might like
playing the game, but getting good at
the game are two very different things,
right? And so it sets this false
expectation that I think ultimately
harms more people. And I think one of
the biggest reasons of not following
your passion is that your passions will
change as you age. I promise you, the
things that I was passionate about when
I was 20 is not things I'm passionate
about now. And I'm sure the things I'm
passionate about when I'm in my mid and
late 40s are going to be different than
things I am now. Same as 50s and 60s.
And so this idea that like I have to
find this one thing, it puts a ton of
pressure on that thing that it has to be
perfect forever. And if it's not going
to be perfect forever, then why don't we
be practical now so that we can give
ourselves options later. So
fundamentally, all we're going to look
for are things that you're good at that
people already spend money on because
that creates a very high likelihood
outcome of you creating something that
you can exchange in the marketplace.
Once you've decided on something that
you want to get better at. You're
already good at it. You want to get
better at it, which is hopefully, you
know, maybe it is your passion, which be
amazing, but a lot of times it's not.
The next thing is you have to get good
at one thing.
Think about the equal opposite of this.
How would I get someone to be poor? I
would get them to keep starting new
things rather than getting good at one
thing. And so, do you remember that guy
who got rich dropshipping, day trading,
buying crypto, and wholesaling all at
the same time? Yeah. Me neither. You
have to focus. And it's arrogant to
think that you could do multiple things
at once and beat someone who does one
thing with all their effort. You have to
pick one thing and go allin and then you
become the one who's hard to beat. So I
told you earlier that I had nine failed
businesses. Now here's the part that a
lot of people don't know. Six of those I
had at the same time. And so I like to
tell people, oh yeah, I'm a CEO. I've
got multiple companies, right? Like kind
of the way I do now. But it's very
different now because the thing is is
that I actually have CEOs who run those
businesses, right? Not me. because you
can only be CEO of one thing. You can
only drive one thing. Now, I drive
acquisition.com,
right? But CEOs of each of the divisions
of each of the portfolio companies, like
those are people who run their own
profit and loss statements, and I didn't
understand that. And so, I had a
chiropractor agency, a dental agency, a
gym launch business where we did
turnarounds. I And then I also had five
gyms of my own at the time. All right?
Depending on how you want to describe
it, I had five locations plus the three.
So, I had eight. It's a lot. All right?
It was too much. And because of that, I
was stressed out of my mind. I was so
spread thin and basically I had lots of
things that generated revenue and I
didn't make any money. The only thing
that it fed was my ego, not my bank
account. When did this big turnaround
happen for me? Leila came into my life
and she was like, "Hey, you're clearly
really good at this one thing. Why don't
we just cut everything else?" And that's
exactly what I did. It was the hardest
period of my life cuz I had to shut down
all the other businesses but one, which
also meant that I had to end
partnerships with all these different
other people that were relying on me.
And that was hard. I'm not going to lie.
Like it was not fun. Like these are
people that I liked. But I had to make
this decision. I had to cut off the life
that I didn't want to have the life I
wanted. If you want to impress people
who are poor, talk about how many things
you do. If you want to impress people
who are rich, talk about how good you
are at one thing. Like, at the end of
the day, your ability to demonstrate
excellence is going to be the only thing
that someone who is ahead of you will
look at. And so, you only fool the
people who have no idea. And I'll be
real, there's a lot of people who have
no idea. So the thing is is that this is
where the whole imposttor syndrome will
start creeping up on you because you're
like man I you know I kind of feel like
a little bit of imposter because you are
you're misrepresenting yourself. You
know you're not as successful as you
pretend to be. And so if you want to
eliminate imposter syndrome just stop
lying. When I say lying people like I
don't lie. If you present something in a
way that you know is going to be
perceived differently than what reality
is posturing in my opinion lying. You're
misrepresenting. What you want to be
able to do is state the facts and tell
the truth. Period. And then if those
facts and truth are not compelling and
do not get you status, then change the
facts and change the truth. Meaning not
that you lie about them, but you work so
hard that the truth is compelling. And
sometimes that takes time. But I promise
you, the people who are who are all in
on the imposture stuff, the guys that I
knew that are that were, you know, when
I was in my 20s who were kind of like
hustle bros, whatever, a lot of those
guys faded, you know, and or they're
still like jumping from thing to thing
to thing, kind of like pretending to be
successful, but like I know that they're
barely able to afford their house. At
the end of the day, it's a choice that
you have to make. Do I want to pretend
to be rich? Do I want to pretend to be
successful? Do I want to look like I'm
successful? Or do I want to be
successful, which more likely is do the
things that success requires, which
today do not look like success. It looks
like a very long string of failures.
Because you will be rewarded far more in
life for your determination than your
intelligence. But the problem with
determination is is that in the short
term, it looks like a long string of
failures until it works. Okay? So,
you're like, "Got it. I'm going to
focus." Now, let me give you something
that's going to help you stay focused.
Number four, stop networking. All right,
now this is a really, really important
point. Now, it's not that I even have
some big problem with networking
overall. That's actually not my point.
It's more that there are there are
seasons of life, right? In the
beginning, you're in exploration. I
grabbed this from Nval and I really love
it. Later on, you get into exploitation,
which is where you go allin, right? And
so, the thing is is that in the
beginning, you're tasting lots of stuff.
you're trying to figure out what you are
good at or have some proclivity towards.
When you have that proclivity, then it
becomes very clear now is the time to
cut everything else so that we can focus
and go deep. Right? So, you go broad in
the beginning so that you can figure out
what you to go deep on. The broad period
that you're in is never the period where
you're going to make money. Like this is
the part you have to get. I'd say from
the beginning of when I started until I
really graduated from it was about 5
years. It's less of a binary, more of a
continuum. In the beginning, you taste
lots of stuff and then you just have to
because in the beginning, you have to
say yes to things. You have to say yes
because you're so bad. You're so scared.
You never want to say yes. But you learn
to say yes a little bit and then you say
yes more and then you say yes more. And
then very quickly you learn to say yes
and get overwhelmed. And so the only way
out of this yes trap is you have to
start practicing to say no. And if
you're like, wait a second, that means
that I have to change what I do. Welcome
to entrepreneurship. Like you have to
learn, you have to evolve, you have to
grow. So let me give you a very tactical
example. So, if you're debating between
going to a networking event, right, or
like a lunch with some dude who's like,
"Hey, we should collaborate. We should
synergize. We should maybe trade ideas.
Let me pick your brain, whatever, right?
And if you're picking between any of
those things and working, choose the
work because when the work works out,
the people will still be there to take
your call. But if you never do the work,
no amount of networking will get the
work done for you." And the bonus or
negative bonus here is that if you don't
get the work done, they're not going to
take your call in the future. And so
they're willing to take the call today
with whatever small amount of success
that you have. But if you lose that
success because you get distracted,
they're not going to take the call in
the future. That door will be open. I
promise. And not only will that door be
open, a hundred other doors will open
for you if you win. During this season,
losers congregate. Winners isolate. If
everyone was supposed to win, they would
have made podiums bigger. The top of the
mountain isn't supposed to fit a lot of
people. It's normal. The air is harder
to breathe. And the thing is is if all
of this seems antithetical or different
than what you've heard or what other
people around you are experiencing, ask
yourself, is that do those people have
the lives you want? A great way to make
a mistake is to ask someone else's idea
about your idea who has no idea. When
you make this transition from going from
the exploration period to the
exploitation phase, you go from many
looser connections to a very few tight
ones. I tend to be very transactional as
a person, but I think we all are and
some people are just open about it.
Everybody on some level does some sort
of math in their head of like the
person, this person in my life, I get
more benefits than I have costs. But the
thing is is that if you want to raise
the standard of your life, you have to
raise the standard of the people who you
surround yourself with. Because the
fastest way to change your life is to
change who you're friends with. Because
that reference group is ultimately going
to be what you compare yourself to. And
so if you change who you compare
yourself to, all of a sudden you will
create deprivation around the difference
between where they're at and where
you're at. The only way that people let
you into circles that you don't deserve
to be in is work ethic. There is no
other way. It is the universal currency
of respect across cultures, across time
periods, across cohorts, across
generations. An old man will respect a
young man who hustles and they will
always be willing to give time to
somebody who they think will execute.
Like this is that was my secret and it
still is my secret. Like I I network
with people who are above who you know I
punch above my weight class in terms of
the people that I'm connected with
because they know that I'll do the work
and so they don't feel like they're
wasting their time by helping because
the thing is a lot of people are
actually very happy to help you. What
they aren't happy to do is waste their
time helping you when you actually don't
help yourself. And so I've shed friends
at every season of my life and my close
circle has always been very small like
very small. The thing is is that I think
of my life in kind of seasons, right?
And so you're going to have friends for
this season and maybe you keep them for
life but maybe you don't. And I think
giving yourself permission to say like
that was that season and they were
amazing friends for the objectives that
I had then and then my objectives change
and it's not really fair to them to say
hey I'm completely changing all the
things that I'm doing. You have to still
be friends with me. It might not make
sense for them. And so not keeping this
expectation over them has helped me kind
of like free myself of that so that I
can reinvest the time that I have in
friends that I think will help me get to
where I'm trying to go next. Okay. So,
if we're taking these big bets and we're
we're following something that we're
good at rather than that we're
passionate about and we're not going to
get distracted and we're doubling down
on one thing and we're turning off these
other things that in the beginning we're
exploring the the little lunches, the
little networking because we know that
if we just succeed at this one thing,
all of those doors will be open. What do
we do to make money? So, let me give you
a money rule. Money loves speed. And
this will relate back to the asymmetric
bets. By the time you have all the
information, the opportunity is gone.
Sometimes you just have to make your
bet. And it's almost always faster to
make a decision, then make a mistake,
and then correct that mistake than it is
to painstakingly deliberate on the
decision. If you know how long it would
take you to fix something, if you're
wrong, then just make your best bet
because you can always fix it later. And
so, said differently, if it takes you
five minutes to decide and then 10
minutes to fix something, don't take two
hours to decide because you could just
do it and if you're right, you
immediately are moving forward five
minutes later. And if you're wrong,
you're moving forward 15 minutes later.
But either way, it's going to take you
less time than trying to assume that
you're going to know everything because
you're just not. You have to get a grip
with uncertainty. Like uncertainty is
the job. Like, if you want certainty,
don't try and go after your dreams.
Because the thing is is that the only
way to go after a certain dream is to go
after an old dream. And if you go after
an old dream that's already happened,
you're trying to fulfill something that
will not happen again. And so, you're
either going to do the work or you're
going to sit around wishing you'd done
the work. And one of the things that
took me a very long time to to
understand was that the things that
dragged me down were not the things that
I thought they were. Because the
heaviest things in life aren't iron or
gold, but they are unmade decisions.
They're the things that weigh us down.
They take up all of our attention, all
of our brain power. And so, right now,
there's probably a handful of decisions
that you know you need to make that
you're just not. If you want to feel
yourself go so much faster than you ever
have, just decide. So few decisions in
life actually are irreversible. Even the
ones that people pretend are
irreversible. What if I should I buy
this car? Should I buy this car? You
could buy it and then flip it. It's not
like you can't sell it again, right? And
so the real cost of the decision is the
delta between what I could buy for what
I could sell it for. Okay. Well, how
much does it cost me waiting 6 months to
do this? Probably a lot. And if I need
that car to to, you know, or a truck so
that I can like go to job sites or pick
up clients or whatever it is, then like
I am losing all of the time that I'm
waiting to decide. And I'm telling you
where people slow down is at the
decision process more than at the doing
process. Doing usually takes very little
time. It's the deciding that people that
bogs people down in quagmire, right?
They just get stuck. They they feel like
they're trudging through mud because
they just hit these walls and all of a
sudden there's no action because they're
just thinking. They're planning. And I
think I had to get comfortable with the
idea that there's so many variables that
I do not know. That I actually have to
get comfortable with the idea that I
just should test and learn and I'll
learn way faster than if I try and
deliberate. And that has happened more
times in my life than not. I would say
that approach has served me with bigger
and bigger decisions in life. Like I
have I've made monster mistakes. But the
bigger mistake that I would have made is
just not being able to make decisions to
begin with. And so you can move through
life at seven times the rate of other
people by simply changing when you say
you're going to make a decision from the
end of the week to the end of the day.
And if you want to move even faster than
that, you can decide at the end of the
hour. And if you move faster than that,
guess what you could do? Decide now. And
so sometimes like my team has seen me do
this. Well, we're like, "Okay, so um you
know, we've got to we got to make this
decision." And people are always like,
"Yeah, let's kick that to next, you
know, meeting or let's let's circle
back. Let's let's go offline for that."
It's like, "No, let's confront. Let's
just choose. Let's pick which vendor are
we going with? Which website design do
we like? What headline are we going to
use? What's the ad hook that we're going
to go with? Just pick. That's why all of
this stuff comes down to bets. If you
want to have a future that you want, you
have to get comfortable with risk. So,
if money loves speed, where are some of
the money potholes? So, number six, pay
off your debt. Now, I'm going to hit you
with something you probably haven't
thought of before, which is there are
many kinds of debt. There's obviously
financial debt, but the biggest and most
expensive debt is ignorance debt. It's
the cost of what you do not know but
should. And to be clear, I still pay off
ignorance debt every day. It's the debt
in skills and knowledge that I should
know to get faster and further to where
I'm trying to go, but I don't. And so, I
have to just fail until I get this
knowledge. But the thing is is that if I
don't fail, I will never get it. I am
willing to pay in looking bad, in money
lost, in time lost, in people judging me
to make bets. And so I like this
perspective on experts, which is that an
expert is just somebody who's made all
the mistakes you can make in a very
narrow field. You have to learn how to
lose before you can learn how to win.
And the first rule of losing is that you
didn't lose, you just learned. You paid
down the most expensive debt. So then
the question is, if you know that you
have to pay this debt off, why aren't
you? And I think it's because you don't
realize how expensive not paying it off
really is. And so know the price of
inaction. Do you think that the reason
that you're in the situation you're in
right now is because you struggled to
decide in the past that you've gotten
all the way up to the edge, you've
gotten all the way up to the precipice,
all the way to the front of the line,
and then you choose not to. And so the
question is, how many times have you run
that cycle? How many times have you
thought through this decision and then
not done something about it? And is the
life you have you want as a result of
those actions? Because maybe the best
thing you can possibly do is maybe see
this and then just choose to make that
call because not making that call has
gotten you where you're at. If you
genuinely believe that you're going to
do this sooner or later, right, make
this bet, make this call, whatever,
sooner or later, then you might as well
do it sooner so you can start enjoying
the benefits now cuz you're going to
enjoy the benefits either way. But why
would you want to delay the benefits of
taking action? The real real is because
you want to delay the costs of potential
failure. Let's say you have a reason why
you haven't taken action, whatever that
is, right? Just imagine in your mind
like it's some visual thing.
Realistically, it's probably one or two
voices in your head. And it you can
probably think about whose voice that
is. And it might not be yours. And so,
who is the person that you're choosing
to not live your entire life for? Whose
judgment do you care that much about?
And so, I will tell you the story. I
almost didn't sell Gym Launch because I
thought that $46 million was not enough
to impress a specific colleague of mine.
Real talk. I was very, very hesitant to
sell the company. And the main reason is
because I thought that they would think
that that wasn't that that impressive.
And when I thought about that, I was
like, "Wow." I was like, "And this is
this wasn't family. This wasn't friends.
This was just kind of a colleague that I
respected." When I was able to really
listen to the voice, whose voice does
this belong to? And what are they
saying? And most importantly, is that
the person who I want to give control
over my entire life? And once I saw
that, I was like, "Well, that's
ridiculous. I don't care about this."
They're usually subconscious. Like you
don't notice them unless you listen for
the voice, unless you name the voice. Am
I really going to let John be the reason
that I don't get married to this girl?
Is Joe really going to be the reason
that I don't raise my prices? Is Sarah
really the reason why I'm not going to
sell this thing? Ridiculous. But people
do it, myself included, every day. And
look, this isn't going to be easy,
right? Building these skills, losing
friends, taking bets, taking losses, you
might find yourself stuck and then
blaming your previous experiences. Which
is why number eight, get over yourself.
Everyone's childhood was difficult. Get
over it. And if you want to win the
award for hardest childhood,
congratulations. I'll give it to you.
You have the hardest childhood. You win.
Feel better, right? No one cares about
what happened to you then. Only what you
can make happen now. And so the only
person that's satisfied with whatever
that reason is is you. And the everyone
else calls that reason an excuse. And at
the end of the day, do you want to get
to your life and have everyone be like,
you know what, he wasn't successful, but
he had a lot of really good reasons.
Wouldn't it be so much more powerful to
say he had all these reasons he
shouldn't have been successful but was
anyways? Like those reasons actually
give you even more fuel because you
become a stronger story to everyone
else. Like no one cares when the silver
spoon kid succeeds really. And so all of
the reasons that you can normally tell
yourself of why you shouldn't do it are
sometimes the best reasons of why you
should. If you had disadvantages, I
agree with you. Like you're right. It's
harder to be successful if this thing
happened to you or if you're born with X
or you're in this gender or this race or
you have this birth deformity or you
speak a different language or you're
born in a different country or you had
abuse whatever. So the main point is
despite the disadvantage, you only have
one choice. What are you going to do?
You can take action anyway and become
proof to other people like you, your
people who are also born into your
situation, whether it was abuse, whether
it was your gender, whether it was your
your race, whe your country. And you can
prove to them or prove to yourself that
you can overcome it and that they can
overcome it too. Or you can do what the
vast majority of people do is that they
protect their ego and blame and
complain. And to be clear, this is not a
pulpit. You can do whatever you want. I
support your choice. Go you. But only
one of those decisions is going to make
you better. And likely only one of those
decisions is going to get you closer to
where you want to go. Because at the end
of the day, here's the TLDDR. Losers
define themselves by what has happened
to them. Winners define themselves by
what they can make happen despite what's
happened to them. And so where some
person sees an excuse, another person
sees an origin story. Like you look at
every every champion, every hero, every
comic book, they all have hard pasts.
And so you having a hard past, whatever
that is for you or some disadvantage,
just makes you like every other
superhero who ends up, you know,
changing their lives. And I actually
love this. I heard this from Joe Rogan,
so this is not mine. Every single one of
us can today wake up like it's the first
day of a video game. Like you just like
got transported into this body and
you're like, "Okay, look around. I have
a wife. I have some kids. I have a job I
hate. Or I have a business I don't like.
Or I have some bet that I I have this
thing inside of me that I I know I can
do more, but I'm not. You have all this
stuff that's around you. And now you can
choose like everything else behind you.
You can just have today be your spawn
point. And so when you're in a video
game, it's easy to just forsake all that
stuff because you don't have this
emotional connection to it. But the
thing is is that like the action needs
to be taken either way. So whatever
frame of mind you need to be in in order
to do it, then do that. All right. All
right. So, once we have this head trash
out of the way, then we have to get back
to back to business, if you will. So,
what's the next thing that we have to
do? We have to solve bigger problems.
If you want to make more money in your
20s and 30s, solve bigger problems,
right? If you want to make a million
dollars, you have to be willing to
endure a million dollar worth of pain.
If you want to make $10 million, you
have to endure $10 million worth of
pain. And here's the thing is that most
people have never endured that. And so,
when they start getting into it, the
thing is is that the nature of the pain
changes. And so in the beginning the
pain is I don't know what I'm doing.
Later the pain is people judging me and
later the pain is lawsuits and a lot of
the pain is just not knowing what the
hell you're doing at whatever stage of
business you're at because that never
goes away. And so not knowing is a
constant. So trying to solve for not
knowing is silly because it's never
going to happen. And so this is why you
have to get comfortable with
uncertainty. You have to make
uncertainty your friend. If we're going
to solve problems, right, we might as
well pick big ones. And I'll give you a
great a great analogy that I got from
Stephen Schwarzman who's the founder of
Blackstone. He said big goals and small
goals are usually just about as hard. A
common VC saying is that having a really
successful restaurant, you might have to
work 80 hours a week and manage all
these different people to have a really
successful local restaurant. And you
might also have to manage all these
people and do all this other stuff if
you want to build a billion-dollar
unicorn. Both those things are hard. And
so if it's going to be hard regardless,
you might as well go big. And actually
it's been a very like that is a very
helpful frame for me because one of the
beliefs that I have about business and
life is that suffering is a constant
like I have to remind myself this on a
regular basis which is that if we are
growing I am in pain. If we are
plateaued I am in pain and if we are
declining I'm in pain which means that I
am pretty much always in pain. And so to
think that there's something wrong with
pain misses the point of how this works.
It is a constant and if it's a constant
we don't even need to think about it. It
shouldn't be a reason to do something or
not do something because it's just
always there. Competition for big goals,
believe it or not, is actually much
rarer. It's thinner air. People believe
that it's so unrealistic that they don't
shoot for it, which actually makes fewer
people there to compete against. And so,
it is probably harder in some ways to
have a local restaurant that is really
successful than it is to have a, you
know, big business. And what I found is
that most problems are solvable, which
means that most things are knowable. And
the reason that you probably haven't
gotten to where you want to go is cuz
you haven't actually started trying it.
And so you're going to have to be
obsessive about it. And I think one of
the big things that I didn't understand
was just how obsessive I was going to
have to be. Is normal to not be like
your other normal friends if you want to
have extraordinary outcomes. If you
think about the reverse, it wouldn't
make sense if we do the same things as
our normal friends and somehow get
something different. It's a positive
indicator. It's a green flag that you're
living a different life than everyone
around you. Like I had a conversation
with my EAS this morning. They were
like, "Man, I feel like if you were a
normal person," that's what they said to
me. They're like, "I feel like if you
were a normal person, you would drive
this kind of car." I like looked at them
and I was like, "So basically, if I were
not me, I would do things that not me
would do. Right now, it would make sense
that you're going to do things that
normal people won't do because you're
trying to not have the same outcome as
them." 10. Obsession is the ticket of
entry. It's the price of entry. And the
thing is is that obsession isn't really
obsession. It's actually just trying and
no one else tries. Like that's the real
real is that normal people call what I
consider sane people to be obsessed. But
sane people, which is what I consider
myself, consider everyone else insane
because they do nothing and waste their
lives. And so we have to be comfortable
with reasoning from first principles of
like I am only going to live here for
not that long and I'm only going to have
a certain amount of hours to do the
stuff that I want to do. Why on earth
would I not do it because of some face
noise that some person some other, you
know, advanced ape is going to say to me
about them having a preference about how
I'm living my life. And so you can boil
almost all insults or judgments down to
this statement. And I think like I hear
this, I translate it when I hear hate.
You do not live your life in a way that
I would prefer. So they're like, you
know, you shouldn't. I do not live my
life in a way that you would prefer. And
that's okay because that's why you live
a life that you prefer and not a life
that I would prefer. And that's why you
live your life and I live my life. And
so people just get so triggered by this.
So when people hate on you, it usually
means that they're jealous and believe
that you are undeserving of some part of
your life. And so to be clear, it's not
that they're jealous of your whole life.
They might be jealous of the attention
you get. They might be jealous of maybe
just the money you make but not the way
you look. Or they might be jealous of
the the body you have, right? And
they're going to be like, "Ah, you're
chewing to that food, right?" Or, you
know, "You work too much." Or whatever
the whatever the little snide remark is,
right? But what they basically think is
that life has unjustly given you the
benefits that they believe they
rightfully deserve. And they might be
right, but life isn't fair. Here's the
thing. People who obsess about work life
balance are typically mediocre at both.
And so obsessed people apply their
obsession to everything and just call it
life. And they also don't consider
themselves obsessed. They just consider
everyone else unobsessed and just plain
and banal. And so I get criticized all
the time for work life balance. People
say like, Alex, you don't have any
hobbies, right? I don't want any. I
don't want any. They're basically saying
yet again, you live your life in a way
that I would not prefer. If I were in
your position, I would live life
differently. Right? And that's why
you're not in my position. So why should
I sacrifice the things that I prefer to
do in order to do the things that I
don't want to do? Right? just to make
your definition of work life balance
happy, which I don't accept. So, like
work life balance is a wonderful goal. I
have no hate for it. It's not going to
happen if you want to be the best. Like,
you've probably heard the, you know,
work smart, not hard, right? That only
works when you're competing against
people who are not smart. If you compete
against other smart people, the only
thing you will have left is to work
hard. If you work smart, not hard, you
will get beaten by someone who works
smart and hard. And if I don't know
about you, I would rather be that person
because at the end of the day, I would
like to just win. And that is point 11,
which is work hard and smart. If you
extrapolate out what a normal life is
like, right? Maybe someone makes, you
know, a million dollars or $2 million
over the span of their entire career,
right? 40 years plus, I think there's
just a certain amount of work that must
be done to generate income. And so what
I would rather do is just take that 40
years and just cram it into four and
then have the other 36 years of my life
to do whatever I want with resources far
beyond what I would be able to do there.
And so I remember Ila uh had this very
early conversation with me because I
think it was our first date. She said
she's like I just want to help people
right like that was her whole thing. And
I was like do you think it'd be possible
for you to help people and to make
money? And she was like well yeah and I
was like okay do you think you could
help more people if you made more money?
And she was like yeah. And in that
conversation she shifted from being what
I would consider a bleeding heart of
just like doing everything like just
trying to just just help every single
person. But the thing is is you're li
your resources are so limited. You can't
do much. And so if you want to help a
lot of people, it's like you got to
learn the game. And the thing is to win
that game, it's like you probably have
to outwork people, a lot of people, and
you have to be called names by people
who live lives that you don't like. I
want to be very clear about this. When I
say work hard and smart, it doesn't mean
it's going to be exciting. So 12 here is
accept boredom.
Like if you want to be creative, you
must first learn to be bored. If you
want to achieve a goal, you'll either
have to accept boredom or pain. And the
bigger the goal, the more of both you're
going to get. I have this great visual
in my head about how winning works,
right? And so you imagine you have this
this marathon, right, that you're
running. So you've got this starting
line here, right? Start. And then you've
got this big race, right? And then
you've got a finish line over here.
Tada. Finish. Now, when you've seen a
race, where do people gather? They
gather here and they gather here. So
here's the question. Where does the
winning happen on your own? Because no
one cheers for you not drinking for a
day or not smoking, you know, on a lawn
drive if you're trying to quit or not
overeating for one night or skipping out
on going to the club with the boys. No
one cheers for that. No workout or meal
is ever impressive on its own. And so
the reason so few people understand
success or at least achieve it in my
opinion is that consistency never looks
impressive in the moment only at the
end. Because if you think about how
consist like it's very difficult to
visualize consistency because you can
only see someone do something once,
right? You see a snapshot of someone
take a shot or hit a backhand. The only
way that you can actually witness
consistency is working with people who
are consistent because the thing that
you have to see is that person show up
every single day. Like someone can show
a workout of me working out and someone
else might be like, "Okay, well I mean
that's a workout. Maybe I should kind of
work out like that." Sure, there's a
level of intensity that might be there
or form and things like that, whatever.
But the thing that people won't see is
it's very hard to witness 20 years
because you have to be there for 20
years. And this is why I think so few
people are able to internalize
consistency, which is the most important
success trait because it's very hard to
lose if you show up every day. It's very
hard and showing up every day is boring.
And so, if we're willing to accept
boredom, the next thing that we're going
to have to be willing to accept is
sacrifice.
We have to give up some things to get
others. And so like at the end of the
day like all we have are trade-offs. We
have what we have and what we want. And
the question is what are the things that
you currently have? Are you willing to
trade for the things you want? And I
think this such a perfect way of
thinking about it. Like you have
everything in your life right now that
you're going to have to trade. Like
everyone trades. Everyone starts even
when you had at zero. You have things in
your life and you have to trade those
things for things that you currently
want but don't have. There's no perfect
way to live your 20s or your 30s, right?
You either live them up and become an
underskilled 30 or 40-year-old or you
work them up and become an underlived 30
or 40-year-old. You just have to figure
out which you'd rather be and accept the
trade-offs and know that there are no
doovers. And that's okay. And when we're
really thinking about sacrifice right
now, no human will ever get more than 24
hours per day. We all have that, right?
And so fundamentally, everything that
you spend your time on that is not you
pursuing your goal, you are determining
is more important than your goal. And so
if you look at what you did every single
one of these hours and then you actually
surface it and say, you know what,
watching Netflix, you know, doom
scrolling Tik Tok and Instagram, hanging
around, doing nothing, surfing the web
or whatever it is that people do these
days, that is what's actually more
important to you based on your behavior.
And so, is it really a sacrifice to give
that up for what you want? Because the
thing is is that a year from now, you're
not going to look back on today and be
like, man, I'm so glad like those clips
that I watched really changed things for
me. they you probably won't even
remember any of the clips that you saw.
They did a great research study on this
where they did short form versus long
form even and people remember like 11%
like 24 hours later it was a tiny
percentage. And so we have to accept
that the things that we spending our
time on most of the time is just wasting
our time on. And so I think Senica said
this, it's not that we don't have enough
time, it's that we waste the time we
have. I come back to this which is like
is it really a sacrifice or are you
finally just saying I believe this is my
priority and therefore all of these
things that are not helping me pursue
that I'm now going to trade out for
things that will help me get this
priority. That's it. And to me if you
like what you're going to get why would
you not make the trade? And so I had
this clip that went super viral from a
podcast that I did yesterday. And the
host asked me, "If all my books and all
my tweets and all my emails and all my
YouTube videos were all deleted and I
had to compress all of my stuff uh into
into 60 seconds, what would I say for
somebody who's in their 20s and 30s?"
This is what I said. Figure out what you
want. Ignore the opinions of others and
do so much volume that it would be
unreasonable to not be successful.