This morning, I got into a bus with a large group of English-speaking tourists. One of them, a little girl, was singing. Everyone around her was smiling. Clapping along. Cheering her on as she moved from song to song.
I couldn't relate.
I had my noise-cancelling headphones on. And I was listening to white noise underneath it. You know, that static sound old grainy TVs make... Yeah, that's what I had playing. It helped me shut out that happy bubble that was building up in the bus. Really, I just wanted to stay inside myself and not feel anything else.
You see, yesterday was awful!
And I hadn't really processed it. So I stayed in my own bubble of white noise. Trying not to be anywhere else.