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February 5, 2024 21:36
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[Stripe] Settings -> External payout accounts and scheduling
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I cancel our First Republic bank account | |
Stripe tries to make a deposit, this fails, Stripe sends "Action required to resume payouts from your Stripe balance" email | |
I click "Update your bank account" button in email | |
This takes me through sign in flow, but ultimately blank page - nothing there, nothing to update | |
I'm like "I'm smart, I'm gonna find this in the settings and change it ANYWAY". | |
Eventually I find "connected accounts" (or somesuch), remove First Republic, add Brex | |
Done, right? | |
Hell no! | |
In a few days, Stripe sends "Action required to resume payouts from your Stripe balance" email | |
This time, "Update your bank account" button works, I go through 2FA, see *First Republic* bank listed | |
There is no "delete" or "add another bank" or anything like that - just "edit" | |
So, I edit, modal pops up telling me to check email | |
Email arrives, I copy link from email, paste it in Stripe tab (same one with modal), because my default browser is Konqueror | |
or some shit and because I don't want any extra tabs for no reason | |
Blank screen - apparently I was just supposed to click the link in the email | |
Find second "Action required to resume payouts from your Stripe balance" email | |
click "Update your bank account" button again | |
Repeat, this time opening new tab for link from email | |
Original tab is happy, shows another modal with NEW BANK DETAILS - routing #, account #, name | |
Remember that I'd connected Brex a few days earlier via a fancy Plaid-like integration - this is starting to look | |
like straight up phishing | |
Bank account? Routing? OMG, where is it? I know I have a PDF with wiring instructions, so I look for it | |
Then I accidentally hit Escape in the Stripe tab and THE MODAL CLOSES | |
Find second "Action required to resume payouts from your Stripe balance" email | |
click "Update your bank account" button | |
Edit bank | |
Email verification dance | |
Enter new bank account, routing, name | |
Now it tells me to choose SMS or Authenticator for additional verification - I choose SMS, it works | |
Maybe done? | |
:O | |
Y'all maybe need some more funding? |
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